Monday, December 13, 2010

Now, for something disgusting: Worst Foods in America, in Eugene

Yahoo! has released a list of the "Worst Foods in America, 2010" today. It's a list of the most unhealthy things you can eat at a chain restaurant. I thought it'd be fun to see which of these is available in Eugene. First, the list:

  1. PF Chang's Double Pan-Fried Noodles Combo (served with beef, pork, chicken, and shrimp): 1,820 calories/84 g of fat/7,692 mg sodium.
    This is certainly available in Eugene (and even for online ordering!), but... you know, why would you get this, when I'm fairly certain you could burn through 2,000 calories by ordering some similar combination platter at Ocean Sky and racking up at least 2,000 extra sodium "points"? (It would also be cheaper).

  2. Baja Fresh Charbroiled Steak Nachos: 2,120 calories/118g fat/2,990 mg sodium.
    Available in Eugene! I guess the point of this list is that things only make it on here if they're new in 2010, so it's perhaps useless to point out that any number of Taco Bell entries could take this one down in a (sluggish, cholesterol-choked) heartbeat. Then again, this does somewhat throw a cramp into my consideration of nachos as "not really a meal" and therefore "lighter." I still believe that throwing some cranberry salsa on top would make this into a health food.

  3. Uno Chicago Grill's Chicago Classic Deep Dish Pizza (individual size): 2,310 calories/165 g fat/4,920 mg sodium
    Not available in Eugene, but they must have something comparable at BJ's. Also -- holy cow, 165 g of fat, really? Why not throw some deep-fried bacon on top and just get it over with?

  4. IHOP Big Country Breakfast with Chicken Fried Steak and Country Gravy: 2,440 calories/145 g fat/5,520 mg sodium
    Available in Eugene. Yes, but: let me ask you, do those calories really matter at the times in our lives (4 a.m., finals week, post-bar, during a relative's Riverbend surgery) that we find ourselves camped out at IHOP? I think not. No one goes to IHOP for health food, or even for particularly creative tastes. If they wanted tasty fattening breakfast, Addi's is just down the street, and if you ask nicely, they'll make you a chicken-fried-steak skillet that puts this piddlin' little platter of drunk food to shame. Then again, you can only go to Addi's during regular hours (5 a.m. to 2 p.m.), so...

  5. Cheesecake Factory's Bistro Shrimp Pasta: 2,730 calories/78g fat/919 mg sodium
    Not available in Eugene, unless they sell it frozen at Safeway or something. I'd say there's a reasonable alternative to this to be found at The Olive Garden: all the chain taste, half the price, and their little cheese-filled sacchetti things must carry most of the wallop that this pasta does. Plus, free breadsticks! Dipped in fry oil and sodium. YUM.

There's more to this list -- a whole 20-item slide show, in fact, where some guy tells you what to eat instead of each of these items. (Example: Eat the Double Stack with Bacon at Wendy's instead of the Triple Baconator). The entire list raises a few important questions:

1). Does Blimpie still exist?

2). Do people really eat Domino's breadbowl pasta line?

2.5) Seriously? Why?

3). Does anyone want to go to Addi's Diner with me, stat?

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